Keeping Doors Open: Why a Girls’ School Matters in the Early Years

Girls' schools matter in the early years because they help preserve girls' confidence before gender stereotypes begin limiting how they see their own abilities. Research suggests that by age six, many girls begin associating brilliance more with boys. An all-girls classroom gives girls more opportunities to lead, solve problems, and develop confidence before those stereotypes take hold.

Confidence Begins Earlier Than We Think

For nearly twenty years, I have had the privilege of working in admission at St. Mary's Episcopal School. During that time, I have watched more than 1,000 students graduate, many of whom I first met as toddlers as they entered our early childhood program.

One of the things I love most about my role is having the opportunity to witness a girl's entire journey, from her first visit to campus to the moment she celebrates her graduation, and to watch girls discover their strengths, develop confidence in their abilities, explore new interests, and begin to define what they believe and who they hope to become. 

When Do Girls Begin to Question Their Abilities?

When I began pursuing my doctorate in educational leadership, I knew I wanted my dissertation to explore a question that had grown out of my own experience at St. Mary's. That question came into focus for me unexpectedly one day while I was scrolling through my Instagram feed. I watched a video, The Dream Gap, featuring young girls sharing research on the "gender brilliance stereotype," which explores the finding that, by around age six, many children begin to associate brilliance more with boys than with girls.

Researchers from NYU, The University of Illinois, and Princeton, found that girls this age become less likely to choose activities described as being for children who are "really, really smart," despite showing no differences in intellectual ability, and they stop believing their gender can do or be anything. You can read more about their research in Science.

What is the Gender Brilliance Stereotype?

What surprised me the most was not simply that these stereotypes exist, but how early they begin to shape the way girls see themselves. Over time, those beliefs can influence everything from the classes they choose to the careers they imagine for themselves, helping explain why women still remain underrepresented in many STEM fields despite showing equal ability from an early age.

As I reflected on that research, I couldn't help but wonder: Would girls at St. Mary's respond the same way?

Why Do the Early Years Matter so Much?

An all-girls school cannot shield a girl from every stereotype she might encounter. But it can give her more time and a safe space to explore who she is before those messages begin to influence what she believes is possible.

At St. Mary’s, girls are not waiting for someone else to take the lead, solve the difficult problem, or step forward during an engineering challenge. They are the ones building, experimenting, questioning, and figuring things out. Confidence does not develop simply because we tell girls they are capable; it grows because they have repeated experiences that show them they are. This is happening every day at St. Mary’s.

I watch girls join robotics teams and discover that they love engineering. I see them in our MakerSpace, trying something new, and learning that mistakes are not failures, but simply part of the design engineering process. They plan, test ideas, and make changes when things don’t work. Over time, they begin to see success, trust themselves, and believe, “I can figure this out.”

What Does Confidence Look Like in the Classroom?

I recently observed a first grade class in our MakerSpace during their “fairy tale engineering” unit. Each small group was working from their own blueprint, designing a solution to a problem inspired by a fairy tale they had read. What struck me most was not just what they were creating (which were incredible designs!), but how they approached the process.

Their teacher, Mrs. Ruhland, had created an environment where students felt trusted to take ownership: “If you need something, help yourself.” There were fourteen six-year-olds with hot glue guns and safety gloves, surrounded by cardboard, paper towel rolls, and pom-poms, testing ideas, solving problems, and figuring things out together. 

These hands-on experiences matter because confidence grows when girls have the opportunity to try, struggle, solve problems, and experience success for themselves. Each time a student tests an idea, makes a mistake, revises her design, and discovers she can figure it out, she builds more than a project, she builds a belief in her own ability. 

What Do Our Alumnae Tell Us?

My research with alumnae also revealed the lasting impact of those early experiences. One alumna, now studying biology and neuroscience, reflected on an experiment in Lower School when they were dissecting owl pellets in science.

She said, “It wasn't like, ‘the boys will do that part,” we were all up in there doing it ourselves.” Another described the confidence that came from learning alongside other girls: “We learned that it is okay to make mistakes. We weren’t working against each other. We were trying to learn from one another.”

Why Does Keeping Every Door Open Matter?

The goal of an all-girls education is not simply to create more women engineers, scientists, and mathematicians, although we are proud that so many of our alumnae pursue these fields. 

The deeper goal is to make sure no girl decides too early that she cannot become one.

I often think about our youngest students walking through the halls of St. Mary’s with a confidence that is still beautifully untouched by the messages they may one day encounter. They believe they can build, create, lead, and solve problems, and that they are capable of anything.

It is also rewarding to see that belief grow into something even deeper by the time our girls reach Upper School. They understand their strengths, they recognize areas where they want to grow, and they approach the future with a sense of confidence and purpose. 

Why does a girls school matter in the early years?

Because confidence develops before most parents realize it’s being challenged. The greatest gift we can give our students is not simply helping her discover what she does well, but helping her believe she can learn, grow, and take on challenges she has not yet imagined. 

Would our girls respond the same way? The answer is no, because at St. Mary's, they learn to keep doors open, lean into challenges, and keep dreaming, long before the world tries to tell them otherwise.

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About the Author: Nicole Hernandez is the Director of Admission & Financial Aid at St. Mary’s Episcopal School, where she has spent 20 years helping families discover the transformative experience of an all-girls education. She is currently pursuing her doctorate in Educational Leadership at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. A proud St. Mary’s mom, Nicole is the mother of three daughters, Charlotte ’26, Georgia Ann ’27, and Victoria ’33.

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Research from: Bian, L., Leslie, S.-J., & Cimpian, A. (2017). Gender stereotypes about intellectual ability emerge early and influence children’s interests. Science, 355(6323), 389–391. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.aah6524