A St. Mary’s Girl’s Guide to Taking on the World

Melissa Byrd ’12 came home from the Big Apple to open our inaugural St. Mary’s Alumnae Celebration Week, themed “Her Story. Her Legacy.” With a special Chapel talk for our Middle and Upper Schoolers, Melissa shared that her path was not always clear. But, with the right “survival skills,” she’s learned that discovering herself is a true treat, “just like the perfect dollar slice of pizza after a long night in classic New York.” 

Melissa shared, “If you had asked me while I was at St. Mary’s what I wanted to do for my career, you would have gotten an array of answers.” However, Melissa knew she had a knack for event planning, specifically fundraising. She followed this interest to the University of Memphis, an institution she knew had a strong partnership with St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

While at the UofM, Melissa soared. She served as the two-time executive director of the university’s fundraising program for St. Jude, which, under her leadership, received Program of the Year Awards from the University of Memphis and St. Jude. During her time as executive director, the program set the highest fundraising record to date. Melissa was honored with the Be Like Danny Award, St. Jude’s highest recognition for character and leadership, along with the Student Leader of the Year Award and Outstanding Emerging Leader Award, a distinction she received four times.  

When she graduated from the UofM, Melissa received her dream job offer: the chance to fundraise for St. Jude in New York City. While working for St. Jude full-time, Melissa pursued her master's degree in nonprofit management from Columbia University and now works as a senior manager at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. 

When she entered the concrete jungle, Melissa realized she needed a few “survival skills” to make the most out of her life. This Alumnae Celebration Week, Melissa returned to campus to share her “Survival Guide as a St. Mary’s Girl Taking on the World.” See the five survival tips she shared below. 

1. Know When to Fan the Flame.

As Melissa shared, she wasn’t always certain of her career path. Discovering her unique purpose came from igniting her passions. 

“The winds will blow several different ways, but the direction that piques your interest and allows you to create even the smallest of sparks is the key to starting a fire,” Melissa reflected. 

Melissa’s parents took her to 52 colleges and universities across the country during her college search. Landing at the University of Memphis allowed Melissa to fan the flame of her interest in fundraising, leading to a meaningful career. 

2. Build Your Shelter.

To Melissa, building your shelter is an important act of self-care. “One of your top priorities in the next stage of life will be moving into a place that keeps you safe, warm, and at peace,” she said.

Melissa explained that this “shelter” could be as small as your childhood bedroom or as large as your school community. What matters is that you make it yours. 

“When you get to the ‘real world,’ the space you create for yourself matters,” Melissa said. “Have fun and surround yourself with things that make you feel both grounded and inspired.” 

Moving from a dorm to her apartment in New York City, Melissa learned the value of creating spaces that allow you to feel your best.

She noted, “The space you call home is more than four walls. It reflects who you are and gives you a place to rest, recharge, and honor your preferences.” 

3. Be Kind to Surrounding Wildlife.

With building shelter comes “surrounding wildlife,” as Melissa puts it. The environment you become a part of is full of a cast of characters: a doorman, the barista at a local coffee shop, neighbors, coworkers, and friends. Melissa confirmed that how you approach these relationships determines peace in your life. 

“A first impression sets the tone for every interaction that follows,” she commented. “Enter into spaces with calm, respect, and openness, and usually people are kind. Kindness is how we turn encounters into connections.” 

For Melissa, these connections rooted in kindness became some of her best friendships. 

4. Mind the Hazards in Life.

Sometimes, it’s hard to miss the signs. Melissa told our girls, “Hazards can take the form of unhealthy relationships, stress, or the temptation to shrink yourself in order to fit in.” 

She reassured, “The tip here is very simple: trust yourself enough to see the warning signs and be strong enough to act.” 

Something Melissa often works on, she is comforted by her loved ones, who are part of her support system. She encouraged our students to be vulnerable with their friends and always let them in to help.

“Your friends are your lifelines, and I have found an immense amount of comfort in maintaining my St. Mary’s lifelines,” she said. My classmates are the ones who have known me the longest, who understand where I came from, and share the same drive to be their best. In all my travels, I have never met anyone who has had a similar schooling experience to ours. Your St. Mary’s classmates will always truly understand and see you for you.” 

5. Maintain the Most Important Relationship: The One with Yourself. 

Melissa’s final and most important tip for survival comes from looking inward. 

“Through my work, I’ve learned a lot about relationships,” Melissa said. “The most important one, the longest, most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.” 

She encouraged each girl to practice self-reliance. As seasons change, Melissa reminded them, “the voice inside your head will never leave. You have to be your own companion, first responder, and navigator.” 

Throughout life’s twists and turns, Melissa has learned to take her happy places with her. She advised that we all have our own “happy places” we can pack with us and take into the world. Perhaps it’s the spark of a flame, a passion, a hobby, or an interest we have yet to fan and turn into a bright part of our lives. 

 

The best part about Melissa’s survival guide? Each St. Mary’s girl already has the tools she needs to succeed. In closing, Melissa left her fellow St. Mary’s Turkeys with one comforting piece of advice: 

“From St. Mary’s, you already carry the tools you need to face anything. But remember, the goal isn’t to just get through each day,” she said. “It’s to shape a life that is truly your own, that would be both your story and your legacy.” 

To watch Melissa’s full Chapel talk, click the link below. 

Melissa Byrd '12 Chapel